England lost again!!

We all thought that England were doing better, how wrong we were. They played like sunday league players!!.

Ronney looked like he was playing for the Germans at one point, and as for the rest of the team, the Germans walked all over England. Despite scoring one goal and being dissallowed another. Is it Fabio Capello’s fault?? or did the team just not have the fight in them to win for England?.

My personal opinion is that England need a younger team, they play all the old players time after time. Yes they play well for there own premier league, so why not for there own country??.

Another manager is needed!!
England need an english manager, after all it was England who taught the rest of the world the game of footaball, so whats happened?.

Malouda, whose 15 goals in all competitions proved influential in Chelsea’s double success last season, was reportedly axed by Domenech following a row in training on Thursday.

The midfielder, apparently unimpressed at plans for him to play a defensive role behind the Bordeaux playmaker Yoann Gourcuff, ended training with Domenech urging captain Patrice Evra to issue a warning over his ‘aggression’ on the practice pitch.

But with Uruguay, reduced to 10 men following the second-half dismissal of substitute Nicolas Lodeiro following a dangerous challenge on Bacary Sagna, frustrating the French, Domenech insisted he had no regrets over his surprise decision to omit Malouda.

Domenech said: “There are 23 players and they are all involved, but I made a choice tonight and Malouda didn’t disappoint me with what he did when he came on.

“In the final 15 minutes, we saw a good performance from him. A player that I bring onto the pitch 15 minutes before the end is one I bring on because I believe he will contribute something.

“But there are 23 players and that’s all that concerns for me. I don’t have anything to say about anything else.”

As a man who has previously confessed to allowing his teams selections to be influenced by astrology – with Robert Pires paying the price for being a Scorpio – it is perhaps no surprise that Domenech has been battling to suppress rumbling discord within his squad.

Rumours emanating from their Knysna base suggested that senior players were bent on forcing Domenech to include Thierry Henry in his starting line-up, while the coach continued to face criticism after omitting Real Madrid’s Karim Benzema from his squad in favour of the former Liverpool forward Djibril Cisse.

Domenech is stubbornly single-minded, but dropping a player who enjoyed the best campaign of his career last term in favour Abou Diaby, a defensive midfielder, was a strange move against opponents whose game is based around negating the opposition.

France dominated possession in the first-half, though, with winger Franck Ribery making easy work of the Uruguay right-back Mauricio Victorino.

Only Sidney Govou will know how he failed to hit the target from six-yards after Ribery had crossed following a waltz past his marker.

Uruguay are clearly no longer the force that saw the tiny South American nation lift the World Cup in 1930 and 1950, but Diego Forlan at least displayed some world-class.

The 31-year-old is a wholly different player from the youngster who almost sank without trace at Manchester United. Whenever he received the ball, he had more time and space than any of his team-mates, but they were simply not on his wavelength.

The last time these two countries met in the World Cup, they played out a dismal 0-0 draw in Busan in 2002 prior to both being eliminated at the group stage.

And as they continued to toil away at the start of the second-half, the prospect of another stalemate grew with every poor pass or bad touch.

Too many players on the French side were failing to justify their lofty reputations. Ribery started brightly but faded, while Nicolas Anelka, Jeremy Toulalan and Gourcuff could not even claim that dubious distinction.

France were in need of a helping hand from the bench, but Henry continued to be overlooked by Domenech and Anelka was left to plough on in his lone forward role.

But for Forlan shooting wide from 12 yards on 73 minutes after being teed up by Luis Suarez, La Celeste could have emerged with the victory that would have taken them to the top of the group.

With a clash against the hosts South Africa next up for Uruguay, however, coach Oscar Tabarez conceded that his team must claim a victory in Pretoria on Wednesday.

Tabarez said: “Once we had the player sent off, our priority was just to see out the game and make sure we came away with a point.

“But with all the teams in the group drawing today, we know that we now have to win our next game against South Africa.”

The French simply have to find their way to goal and heal the rifts within the camp, but the former might be more straightforward than the latter.

Domenech said: “We didn’t finish as well as we should have done, so it’s frustrating not to have won the match.

“I need to think about my team, but we need to take stock and take our time.”

Our thoughts are with you Nelson Mandela.
The great Mandiba had so cruelly been unable to attend the launch of Africa’s historic happening in Johannesburg, the death in a car accident of his teenage great granddaughter providing the one truly awful jolt amid a day of wonderful uplift, but his presence seemed everywhere.

It was there when, during a second half revival full of brio, Siphiwe Tshabalala, a lad who could barely even get into Kaizer Chiefs’ first XI about a year ago, broke the shackles with a counter-attacking goal of such searing quality that it will be etched forever in folklore here.

But just when Soweto was readying itself for the party to end all parties, the force mysteriously disappeared. First, defensive sleepiness allowed Rafa Marquez, Barcelona’s streetwise defender, to steal in unmarked and steer home an equaliser with 11 minutes left, just when South Africa’s determined application and superior fitness appeared to have prevailed.

Then, in the 89th minute, Katiego Mphela muscled on to the end of a long hopeful punt upfield from his goalkeeper Itumeleng Khune and trickled his left foot shot goalbound, only to languish in agony as he saw it bounce apologetically off the post.

Silence was the sound of utter deflation. The truth is that on a day which was laden with such import for Africa and for sport, it should not really have mattered that the Bafana Bafana could not offer the ideal denouement. No good telling the players that, though. They are still haunted by the thought of being the least successful hosts in the event’s 80-year history and their late failing here still leaves that a distinct possibility, with victory over either France or Uruguay now required.

There was no reason for self-reproach, though. This team, which used to be considered a joke here, played a wonderful, spirited part in what had been a day like no other.

To be part of the epic trek of 90,000 to Soccer City’s extraordinary calabash, a smiling, cheering, trumpet-blowing mass of pilgrims who could not help but stir you with their utter pride and joy at staging Africa’s greatest ever sporting event, felt like a rare privilege.

Inside the stadium, Francois Pienaar, the man who lifted rugby’s World Cup for the new Rainbow Nation, cast his mind back 15 years to tell me how this was so much more monumental and ground-breaking than the 1995 triumph.

Yet one thing remained the same. He remembered how he felt before that final against New Zealand and understood exactly the sense of responsibility the Bafana Bafana would be experiencing in their dressing room. “This is their moment,” he sighed, a little misty eyed. “The moment of their lives.”

And when the moment of their lives came, no wonder they felt burdened. They tried not to look it, with captain Aaron Mokoena doing his little Roger Milla tribute dance in the tunnel as if he hadn’t a care in the world, but the enormity must have hit home once they listened to the message relayed from Mandela by their President that they should go out and enjoy the game.

Easier said than done when for the first 15 minutes they could barely lay a foot on the ball as Javier Aguirre’s fluid 4-3-3 formation sliced effortlessly through and around them. Giovani dos Santos looked determined, in the face of the hosts’ porous midfield, to identify himself the first star of the competition rather than a Tottenham discard, and was a vivid orchestrator.

Carlos Alberto Parreira’s side survived more by luck than judgement as myriad chances went begging and Arsenal’s Carlos Vela had an offside goal disallowed, but at half-time, the coach brought off his hapless left back Lucas Thwala and demanded a less timid approach.

Within 10 minutes, Fulham’s Kagisho Dikgacoi, previously most celebrated for giving Scott Parker a slap on his debut, delivered a defence-splitting diagonal ball which may not be bettered in the entire tournament to set up the devastating left foot strike from man of the match Tshabalala, a slight midfielder Parreira has helped transform into what calls “our very own Brazilian”.

Parreira, just as Guus Hiddink did with South Korea’s surprise packets in 2002, has drilled remarkable fitness into this squad and they appeared to be still going the stronger in Johannesburg’s thin air, having a couple of chances to extend their lead through Teko Modise before the lapse which saw them fail to pick up Marquez.

“Mexico threatened us early on, but I believe we were more balanced in the second half and could have won,” said Parreira. “The result was not the one we wanted but it will keep us alive until the last game in the group. It’s a fair result”.

Yes, a fair result on a fantastic day. “The dream came true,” Blatter had told the crowd before the game. Not completely it hadn’t – but, as Parreira smiled: “There is still time”.

Despite my doubts of Englands ability to preform well over America, England played better than I have seen them play so far even in the friendlies.

England went into the lead after just 4 minutes of play with their captain Steven Gerrard scoring the goal, and what a goal it was.
USA player Clint Dempsey scored the equalizer in the 40th minute, with a clumsy save from Green. The horror on his face as the gaol slipped through his fingers was all too clear to see, ending the game 1-1.

Man of the match for me was Heskey, he was not on top form, but he was amongst the top players of the game.

There was three substitutes for England and one for the USA, and the same amount of yellow cards :

ENGLAND

04 Gerrard Captain Yellow card
20 King (Carragher, 46 Yellow card)
16 Milner Yellow card (Wright-Phillips, 30)
21 Heskey (Crouch, 79)

USA

06 Cherundolo Yellow card
15 DeMerit Yellow card
20 Robbie Findley Yellow card (Buddle, 77)

Despite all that the referree was fair and played the game well.

Lets see how England do against Algeria on friday the 18th!!

THE WORLD CUP HAS FINALLY STARTED!!, and I have to say that I thought Mexico were the better team.
Even the opening ceremony was a delight. Next up is the inaugural match, and that too promises to be fun. These look like two quite evenly matched teams, in the tournament’s most balanced group, from which any pair could progress. The Bafana Bafana are under pressure to avoid becoming the worst hosts since Vernon Kaye, and they are in fine fettle: unbeaten in 12 matches, lead by a richly experienced manager, they boast a squad of players of great dynamism and impeccable technique. They lack height (with the obvious exception of Mark Booooooooooooooth, but he’s a sub) and a consistent goal-getter and, therefore, bear a striking resemblance to Mexico, who lack height and a consistent goal-getter but have impeccable technique, great dynamism and, perhaps decisively, lightning speed and five players who have already been world champions, having won the U-17 World Cup in 2005. OK, one of them is Carlos Vela …. but come on, he’s too young to be written off just yet.

A question for any Zulu speakers who may have nothing better to do right now than follow this here commentary: given that Bafana Bafana translates as The Boys (or so were are constantly told), am I wrong to deduce that nouns are pluralised in Zulu by repeating them? So if, for example, the Zulu word for rhinoceros were, um, Nigel, would rhinoceroses be Nigel Nigel? For what it’s worth, this method makes me happy.

A question for any English speakers who may have nothing better to do right now than follow this here commentary: is rhinoceroses the correct pluralisation of rhinoceros? Might it be rhinoceri? Would it be wiser to just say rhinos?

Teams:
South Africa: Khune, Gaxa, Mokoena, Khumalo, Thwala,
Tshabalala, Dikgacoi, Letsholonyane, Modise, Pienaar, Mphela.
Subs: Josephs, Masilela, Ngcongca, Sibaya, Davids, Booth, Parker, Nomvethe, Moriri, Sangweni, Walters, Khuboni.

Mexico: Perez, Aguilar, Rodriguez, Osorio, Salcido, Torrado, Marquez, Juarez, Giovani, Franco, Vela.
Subs: Ochoa, Barrera, Castro, Blanco, Hernandez, Moreno, Guardado, Magallon, Torres, Bautista, Medina, Michel.

Referee: Ravshan Irmatov (Uzbekistan)

2:31pm: “My Zulu is no good but I can confirm that in Malay they pluralise as you suggest,” bugles Helen O’Connor. “Kanak = child, kanak kanak = children.” Thank thank, Helen.

2:33pm: To tumultuous acclaim, and the mighty buzz of tens of thousands of vuvuzelas, the Bafana Bafana dance on to the pitch for their warm-up. That is a quite magnificent entrance. Hat hat off.

2:35pm: You will note that Mexican manager Javier Aguirre has decided to omit Manchester United’s new recruit Javier Hernandez in favour of sometime-West Ham striker Guillermo Franco. That is a pity for United fans hoping to have a gander at their new player, and those of us who know his nickname is ‘The Pea’ and were hoping to make a lame pun involving ’shooter’.

2:37pm: “You’re quite right, it’s rhinoceroses,” approves Dan Pocock. “The plural of hippopotamus is hippopotami, because it’s a Latin word ending in -us. Singular masculine words end in -us, plurals end in -i. Singular feminine words lifted straight from Latin end in -a, plurals in -ae. For example, minutia and minutiae. Singular neutral words end in -um, plurals in -a. For example, medium and media. Rhinoceros ends in -os so it has absolutely nothing to do with it. ” So now you know. You may not care, but you know.

An expert speaks:: At least he sounds like an expert. “The Zulu singular for boy is Umfana,” lectures Colin Darch. “Bafana is already a plural. The doubling of the word has no grammatical significance. I’m the only person in South Africa who is not in front of a television – I am at work till five – nobody else here. Talk about short straws.”

And another thing, from Kat Petersen. “The language is called isiZulu, the people are Zulu.”

Now that we’ve unburdened ourselves of some linguistic ignorance, let Adrian Cooper pose another question: “Is there any chance that the England team will dance onto the pitch tomorrow? And will Gerrard be allowed any say regarding the song to which they dance on, in order to avoid an unnecessary ruckus?”

2:49pm: The teams are primed and in the tunnel, bobbing up and down with adrenalin coursing through them and words spilling melodiously from their mouths: both teams are singing, see. It’s a terrific atmosphere, and they haven’t even reached the pitch yet. “I am so pleased I have started my World Cup with pedantry on the MBM,” exults Kat Petersen. “It can only go well now. Come on Algeria, Paraguay and Japan! (Office
sweepstake gone wrong).” Consider yourself lucky – I got Slovakia.

2:51pm: Now the players are on the pitch …. they may well be still signing, but there’s no chance of them being heard above the vuvuzelas. But hold on, here comes Sepp Blatter to say a few choice words …

2:53pm: “Ladies and gentlemen, the World Cup is in Africa!” begins Sepp Blatter, patently a man who knows how to send vuvuzelas into overdrive.

2:54pm: Now President Zuma is speaking. So is someone called Marcus Cowper: “Re: the plural of hippopotamus, it’s actually from the Ancient Greek for horse (hippus) and river (potamus), no idea about the plural but would have thought that hippopotamuses would be acceptable,” drones Marcus.

2:55pm: “Oooh, good idea for England to dance on to the pitch,” chirps Paul Bourdin. “I nominate a Madness ‘House of Fun’ tribute.” Me, I’d recommend some KK Downing-Glenn Tipton-style to-and-fro rocking.

Did someone mention linguistic ignorance? Don’t get Jon Shaw started. Too late. “I want to say that Kat Peterson is not correct,” hollers Jon.”In English (which purportedly is the language used in the MBM) isiZulu is called Zulu. isiZulu is the Zulu word for the language. The corollary would be French is what English speakers called the language the French people call francais. So, Zulu is the correct English word for the language Zulu speakers call isiZulu. This is true for countless African languages: Swahili is called Kiswahili in the Swahili language, for example. And …. go South Africa!”

National anthems: There is respectful silence from the South African crowd as the band run through the rather jaunty Mexican number. And now here comes the home hymn …

2:59pm: Formalities performed, the players trot over to their approximate positions and limber up as they await kick-off. “No, this will not stand, this will not stand,” fumes Richard Readshaw. “Both hippopotamus (horse of the river) and rhinoceros (nose of horn) come from greek and their plurals would end in ‘oi’, I think. In English the plural is ‘…es’. Anything else is hippokakos.”

3pm: Now the Mexican team are locked in a huddle … in the South African half. “Is that a little wind-up?” wonders ITV’s Jim Beglin.

1 min: We have kick-off! Mexico take it and immediately begin circulating the ball at speed. They work their way up to the brink of the South African box before Khumalo stops their progress.

2 min: That was nearly the opening goal of the World Cup … and it would have been a disaster for the home goalkeeper! He tried to intercept a cross but succeeded only in pushing it out to Giovani, who attempted to smash it into the net from eight yards. But Mokoena reacted quickly to deflect it behind for a corner. “As someone who took an Ancient Greek course at uni, I’m 99.9% certain that the properest plural of hippopotamus is hippopotamoi,” drawls Edith Haimberger. “But such pedantry is frowned upon in common usage, so we are stuck with the equally accepted hippopotamuses and hippopotami.”

4 min: It’s all Mexico at the moment. They’re flitting around the South African box like flies. Giovani almsot broke through again just now, but rather than shoot from an inviting position crossed, and Khumalo headed clear.

6 min: South Africa forage forward for the first time but are let down by a weak cross from the right. “On the subject of office sweepstakes, I was a little underwhelmed to get Serbia in my office competition,” groans Benjie Goodhart, who does not appear to be as hard to find these days as Fergal Sharkey once suggested. “So imagine my excitement when another department invited me to take part in their sweepstake. Excitement only slightly diminished by drawing Serbia. Still, in the unlikely event of Serbia winning the tournament, I’ll probably have a larger win bonus than Vidic.”

8 min: It’s pleasing fare so far, both sides determined to attack, although so far Mexican have looked more adept at doing that than the hosts, whose passing has been a little rash. Nerves, perhaps. “I think it would be good if England came onto the pitch sort of strutting, with their elbows bent and their chins and arses sticking out, the way power walkers do, with the theme from The Sweeney playing,” trumpets Paddy. “Yeah, that would be good. I wish I had a telly.”

10 min: Huge excitement in the crowd as Tshabalala receives the ball in space on the left for the first time, but he makes poor use of it, poking it straight to a Mexican defender. “We’re only ten minutes into it, but already the World Cup is being ruined by that incessant, stupid droning noise,” screeches Ray Kelly. “Is there any way we can get FIFA to ban Peter Drury?”

12 min: Mexico win a corner but it would have been more if not for a fine tackle by Thwala. Franco leaps to meet the delivery at the near post and his finish is shoddy, heading way over from six yards. It was a great chance. “I read a bit of Greek at Uni and would like to get a mention for my favourite word: batrachomyomachia,” announces Andrew Hallsworth. “Literally it means a battle between frogs and mice, so effectively means a storm in a tea-cup. Could equally be used to describe Switzerland v Honduras.”

14 min: Impressive interplay from South Africa opened Mexico up, and, with Tshabalala threatening to collect a through-ball, Salcido pulls him down. Freekick to Bafana Bafana, about 25 yards out and central. Pienaar curls it a couple of yards over. “In Indonesian you repeat words to pluralise, or sometimes for random comedy effect,” discloses Tom and Amy in The Hague. “So Jalan = road; jalan jalan = walking around in an aimless manner. Or mata = eye; mata mata = spy.”

17 min: After a jittery opening South Africa have steadied themselves are now exerting regular pressure on Mexico, whose defender Juarez, has just recieved the first yellow card of the tournament for a foul borne of frustration.

19 min: Ooooh! That was close … and should have been closer. Mexico carved South Africa apart with a sprightly counter-attack but Giovani, one-on-one with the keeper, flashed the ball wide from 20 yards. Ropey finishing is a regular problem for these otherwise decent sides. “Hey, I have a few bob on Diego Forlan to get the Golden Boot,” squawks Big Bri. “What are my chances?” The last bookies I checked were quoting 50/1, and I reckon that’s highly generous. My money’s on Crouch at 80/1. And no, I don’t expect England to win the tournament.

21 min: Another good bukld-up by South Africa and for a moment Mexico were exposed. But Mphela took the wrong option, and rather than feed Tshabalala early doors, he took the ball wide. His subsequent cross was cut out by the keeper.

23 min: Mexico are playing for much of the time with only three at the back – two full-backs and a solitary centreback – as Marquez ventures forward to join in attacks. It’s an entertainingly risky approach, thickening the plot of this engaging game. That said, nothing much has happened over the last two minutes. “In Turkish, words are repeated for emphasis,” bawls Julien Gutknecht. “Take, for example, yavaş meaning slow. yavaş yavaş means very slow.”

25 min: Dikgacoi booked for tripping Giovani, who had ghosted past two defenders prior to coming up againt the Fulham man. The freekick is about 27 yards out, a little to the left. And Marquez wellies it over.

27 min: Pienaar, popping up all over the place, receives an Mphela pass on the left … but is soon dispossessed. Now might be a good time for an amusing, musical intrusion by BananaMan.

29 min: Outstanding save by Khune! It was a lovely move by Mexico, Vela clipping a perfectly-weighted ball to Franco, who, having got the jump on his marker, killed it with one sweet touch and then tried to flip it past the keeper from eight yards. But Khune spread himself rapidly and showed a strong wrist to bat it away. “I’m from Indonesia and what those guys from The Hague said in 14 min is right,” confirms Pangeren in Jakarta. “I give you another one. Laba means profit. Laba-laba means spider.” That’s poetry, folks.

32 min: Mexico have most of the ball, South Africa remain intent on countering but have sometimes struggled to connect with lone striker Mphela quickly enough.

34 min: Tshabala spots a smart dash by Mphela … but his pass is too heavy and it runs into the hands of the keeper.

36 min: Mexico create another opening, but again their finish does not do justice to the build-up, Vela crossing when he should have shot. He plays for Arsenal, see.

DISALLOWED GOAL! And correctly so. Mexico nodded it in from a corner taht had been flicked on after Khone came for it and missed embarassingly. But the striker was just offside so the visitors’ celebrations are aborted.

40 min: Another terrible senorita! Or Mexican miss, as we could also say. Franco was free, 12 yards from goal, and directed a wonderful cross wide. “In Tagalog, a Philippine language, mahal can mean beloved, and mahal-mahal means very expensive,” reveals Eush T. “The more you know …”

42 min: Excellent break down the right by Gaxa, followed by a nice trick to make room for the cross. That cross was then diverted behind for a corner. Perez looked no safer under it than Khune has done at the other end, but Franco spared him by beating Phela to the ball and heading wide, as is his wont. Another corner for South Africa. And then another one. And finally Mexico wallop it clear.

44 min: Tshabalala swings in another corner and Perez struggles again, but manages to fumble it behind. They whip it in again, this time the keeper doesn’t come for it, and Digkacoi rises at the back post and sends a header … just over the bar!

Half-time: As predicted, there has been lots of neat play, mainly from Mexico, and lots of shoddy finishing. “It seems that the volume of the vuvuzelas actually goes down when South Africa come close, “notes Kevin Bowman. “I suppose blowing your horn doesn’t feel right when you have a chance of scoring.”

About the disallowed goal: A surprising number of you have asked me to explain how the Mexican scorer could have been offside given that there was a South African defender on the line. The reaosn is simple: the offside law states that there must be two players between the attacker and the goal-line – usually the goalkeeper is one, but on this occassion Khune had gone on an impromptu safari, leaving just one defender and rendering the attacker offside.

“That Banana Man video is rather good,” blurts Billy Murphy. “I’ve been in a terrible funk for months, not even the World Cup is picking me up, irreverantly enough though, this video is. Now I’m happy! Ooh Ah Cotes D’Ivoire, I said Ooh Ah Cotes D’Ivoire!”

“I hope that Efan Ekoku read your explanation for the disallowed goal,” warbles Nick Potter. “Because he keeps going on about it on American tv and misinforming an already ignorant nation of soccerball fans.”

Another mail: “The match commentator on Univision keeps singing the refrain to Duran Duran’s The Reflex every time Tshabalala shows up,” informs Thereaa Wyner. Why, because every little thing he does leaves an answer with a question mark? And, in light of our earlier linguistic lessons, what might the repetition of Duran Duran mean? And anyone care to venture a translation for Djemba Djemba?

46 min: The second half has started. Given how many of you were ignorant of the offside law, I should perhpas specify that South Africa took the kick-off, because Mexico had the honours in the first period. And for the benefit of any French strikers who may be tuning in, let me reiterate that the laws of football prohibit controlling and passing the ball with your great big cheating hand.

47 min: South Africa, by the way, made a substitution at half-time: Thwala off, Masilela on at left-back instead.

48 min: The match has quickly settled into the same pattern as the first half, with Mexico zipping the ball around purposefully and South Africa chasing gamefully and, after eventually retrieving the ball, knocking it about a bit themselves before giving it away.

50 min: Mexico are preparing to make a change, Guardado warming up. “Google’s translation service tells me Duran is Turkish for standing or lingering,” yells Paul Bourdin. “So I think Duran Duran means stalking.”

GOAL! South Africa 1-0 Mexico (Tshabalala 54′) What’s more, it’s an absolute stonker! Mexico’s flasher tendencies – I did mention, didn’t I, that they have a penchant for exposing themselves – were exploited expertly, as their disparate defence was dissected with a splendid pas from midfield. Tshabalala collected it on the left-hand side of the box and enflamed it into the top corner!

57 min: Soccer City is rocking, and Mexico are reeling. South Africa are pressing for a second here …

58 min: Franco gets a header on a freekick and for once directs it on target, but Khune catches it comfortably. “I’m still at work without a telly, which means this is the first time I don’t get to see a World Cup opening match since Belgium vs Argentina in 1982,” mourns Jan Ebersohl. “And I don’t have a pun to offer so I won’t even get my comment published. All I can come up with right now is that Vuvuzela and Uwe Seeler (you know, the Hamburg forward from the sixties) must sound almost the same to German ears. That’s not enough, is it?” You really think our standards are that low?

59 min: Fine work by Giovani, who cut into the box and let fly from a tight angle from 18 yards. Khune pushes it behind at full-stretch. “It was Dikgacoi’s beautiful pass,” my helpful colleague Richard Williams yells at me all the way from Soccer City. “Made in Fulham!”

61 min: Dikgacoi attempts to cement his reputation as the South African Danny Murphy by blemming one into the net from 30 yards. Alas, his effort was more worthy of a South African Dickson Etuhu.

63 min: Mexico have lost their rhytmn since the goal and South Africa, of course, have been buoyed. They’re having more of the ball now and, indeed, almost added a second, Modise sidefooting wide from close range. Too close, as it turned out: he was offside. “Duran Duran comes from the movie Barbarella starring the rather luscious Jane Fonda,” drools Alexander Huw. “It contained an Orgasmatron, and I think my South African wife just pressed the start button when Bafana Bafana scored …”

66 min: Franco crowded out after controlling the ball nicely in the Bafana Bafana box.

68 min: Mexico substitution: Vela off, Blanco, age 109, on.

70 min: Gasxa rumbles forward and slips a cute ball through to Modise, who, with Rodriguez hassling him, shoots straight at the keeper, who had surged forward to narrow the angle.

70 min: Mexican have the ball but they can’t pick a way through South Africa, who are pressing frantically while preserving their shape, like some kind of manic potter. Or something.

71 min: Mexico’s last throw of the dice: Franco off, Manchester United new boy Hernandez on. Is this a good place to repeat that he is nicknamed The Pea? Or should I save that for the pod(cast)?

73 min: South Africa are well on song now, absolutely buzzing. Where in the first half they have been sloppy, now they are slick. Perez had to hurtle off his line just now to intercept a cross after another fine raid by the Bafana Bafana. “May I suggest a new chant for the goalscorer, to the tune of Hey Jude,” pleads Rob Thorpe. “Naa, naa naa, TSHABALALA … You get the point.” Yes.

75 min: Mokoena beats Blanco to the ball to turn a cross behind for a corner. “All due respect to Roger Vadim and Jane Fonda, whether Mrs. Huw indulges in the orgasmatron or not, I believe that it was the creation of Woody Allen from the movie Sleeper, which apparently this match is not,” toots Philip Jackson. I just thought it was a Motorhead album.

GOAL! South Africa 1-1 Mexico (Marquez 78′) It was shoddy defending by South Africa, who found themselves with just one defender attempting to control three attackers after Mexico took a corner short. Guardado crossed from the left, Marquez took it down and drove it past Khune from seven yards.

80 min: Modise, who has been lively in this second half, attempts to conjure down the right, then turns in-field and plays it to Pienaar, whose pass is intercepted, enabling Mexico to hurtle forward. South Africa mop up, but you get the feeling the scoring has not finished in this game …

82 min: Pienaar withdrawn for Bernard Parker of FC Twente. That’s an attacking move by coach Parreira.

83 min: Excellent covering tackle by Khumalo to deny Hernandez.

85 min: It is, as they say, end-to-end stuff. As soon as Osorio dispossessed Parker on the edge of the Mexican area he cariied the ball 60 yards forward down the right. And then lost it.

86 min: The ITV commentary team has just praised the referee for having a good game so far, despite being from Uzbekistan.

88 min: Blanco has been the fulcrum of Mexico’s attacking since his introduction and he nearly served up a lovely cross for Hernandez. But it was fractionally too high and, therefore, so was the striker’s header from 10 yards.

South Africa hit the post! Mphela raced on to a ball lofted over the top and, from an inviting angle and with the keeper bearing down on him, shot against the outside of the upright.

90+1 min: Hernandez slips in the box after a sharp through-ball from Torrado. “There can only be one chant for Tshabalala,” claims Seth Levine. “Tom Waits’ Jersey Girl, as sung by The Boss – ‘Tshabala, Tshabalala, I’m in love with a Jersey Girl’”

Full-time: That was a thrilling opening to the World Cup. There were errors from both sides, particularly in terms of the final ball, but there was also plenty of sharp passing and inventive movement and the whole contest was played at a cracking tempo and in a pure spirit. Will France v Uruguya be even better?

It has emerged that the referee Carlos Eugênio Simon was suspended by his national federation amid accusations of bribery and incompetence. And his first game is for England and USA!!!

Some 12 months earlier Flamengo had been so incensed by the sending-off of their striker Diego Tardelli in a critical game against Cruzeiro – the forward appeared to be fouled for a penalty, only to be sent off for diving – that they wrote to the Fifa general secretary, Jérôme Valcke, with an accompanying DVD, demanding Simon was dropped for the tournament in South Africa.

He was branded a ” crook, a scoundrel and a shameless bastard”, by the president of Palmeiras .

My personal view on this is, if a referee has been suspended then he SHOULD not be entitled to referee any match!!

Ivory Coast’s World Cup warm-up match against Japan today turned to disaster after just 15 minutes for Drogba.

The chelsea forward hobbled of the pitch after a heavy challenge from Japans Tulio.

And yet again Japan scored another home goal, I dont think the Japan squad realise the rules of the game!!

The defender suffered the injury after a tackle during training and has gone to hospital for a scan.

The teams first match against USA is in just five days, but this does not give us a great deal of confidence.
The Tottenham defender Michael Dawson is on standby should the injury prove serious enough to threaten Ferdinand’s participation in the tournament in South Africa.

The Netherlands are looking confident at reaching the fianl of the world cup.
Italy – Netherland: in Pescara, the Coach Lippi line up the “Azzurri” with a 4-2-3-1. Antonio Candreva debùt for the first time in the national team. Together with him the comeback of Raffaele Palladino from Genoa. In the first half the match is substantially balanced: Netherland plays well with the ball and control the game, but Italy is fast in breakaway. Netherland has the best occasion of the first half: Kuyt shoot with the right foot and the ball goes very close to the goal. Palladino (who didn’t have a good start) answer to Kuyt with no success. In the second half Italy is more aggressive. Camoranesi, Rossi and Pazzini have good chances, and the last one scores, but with the hand, and the referee revokes the goal. The match finishes 0-0, a good match for both the teams.

Johnson has vowed to take the positives out of his FIFA World Cup™ disappointment. The 22-year-old appeared on track to sneak into Fabio Capello’s England squad when he made his debut in the pre-tournament friendly against Mexico after receiving his first international call-up.

But the Manchester City winger was not among the 23 players named yesterday and will instead have to watch the tournament from home.

“Of course I was a bit down when I got the news and my first thought was that I wish I’d had more of a chance to show what I could do in the two warm-up matches,” he said.

“I would have loved the chance to showcase what I can do on the biggest stage of all but I am not going to dwell on it. The England management made it clear to me that I have an international future and I am going to have a rest now and then get my head down and get ready to try and work my way into the side for September qualifiers.

“I suppose if you had mentioned the World Cup to me back in December I would have smiled but I had a thought in the back of my mind when I signed for City that if I did well I might have half a chance. I am going to take the positives out of the last two weeks.”

Johnson came into the England reckoning after joining City from Middlesbrough in January, and then dislodging Shaun Wright-Phillips – who is in the FIFA World Cup squad – from Roberto Mancini’s starting XI. Johnson’s versatility appeared to count in his favour, but he played only six minutes of the friendly against Mexico before remaining on the sidelines throughout the Japan clash.

“I have worked with the squad, I have an England cap which is a wonderful honour and I know that I will be in the mind of the coach and his staff for the future,” Johnson added.

“I am an England fan and in a way I built up so many bonds in the last couple of weeks that I will still feel part of it. I have spoken to Shaun (Wright-Phillips), wished him good luck and told him to go and do well. There are certainly no hard feelings towards him.

“I am delighted for Gareth (Barry) too. He has had a great season and it would have been so cruel for injury to have robbed him of a World Cup. The lads are fully capable of winning the World Cup. I think we have a great chance along with maybe two or three other sides. Of course we will need a bit of luck along the way that goes with winning anything in sport but no one should write off England’s chances.”